"What makes two people an official couple? Does the guy seriously HAVE to ask the girl 'will you be my girlfriend?' or 'can we be boyfriend and girlfriend now?' "
Its mid January and a girl had been "dating" (seeing eachother, hanging out with, spending time, talking to...whatever you'd like to call it) this guy for about 8 months. He has yet to call her his girlfriend. They've talked about it before and the answer was the same: "when the time is right." For a long time, it didn't really bother her. Okay. That's a lie. It bothered her more than she liked but for a good reason she thought. Everyone would ask "are you guys official?" "is he your boyfriend?" and she would say "No. Not yet. We're together, though" and that was enough for her because it was just them in the relationship, noone else. It wasn't important to make sure everyone knew she had a label. As the relationship went on, she started to question things.
Whether or not he really wanted to be with me.
Doesn't he want to be my boyfriend?
Am I not good enough to be his girlfriend?
Is this a way to keep from being "tied down" to just one girl?
Sad, but true. She couldn't help it. She wasn't sure what to think. His actions all pointed in all the right directions and it is true actions speak louder than words and labels...but words speak, too. She wanted the label not so she could tell all her friends, but so she could know for herself that he was in. The c word causes a lot of people (especially people who've been wounded by love before) to run for the hills. A little commitment is what she wanted. Granted, she hadn't been close to perfect in those eight months, she still felt like she deserved it. One particular night they were arguing about it and he said "I just want it to be special. I thought because of the hopeless romantic you are, you'd appreciate it more if it was special." After that, she shut up. She felt bad for questioning those things before, not knowing that he had plans all along. She felt foolish because he was right. She would appreciate it even more if it was special because she was in fact, a hopeless romantic.
So she waited. Christmas passed. New Year's Eve passed. She waited a little longer. One night before they went to sleep he asked her "so do you wanna be my girlfriend?" She thought he was kidding. When she realized he wasn't she said "okay" and fell asleep with a brand new set of questions.
I guess he didn't really want to be my boyfriend at that time, did he?
Did he tell me that he wanted it to be special so I would stop talking about it?
I got what I wanted...so why do I feel so disappointed?
Is it wrong that I feel kind of cheated?
What happened to the special moment or when the time was right? Maybe that's what he meant... He built it up so much that she expected one thing, and in the end, didn't really get it. She was confused because she thought he knew it was important to her. Not because she cared about anniversaries or about letting everyone know their status...but because she wanted to feel like she was worth it.
So as for my answer: No. A guy doesn't HAVE to ask a girl to be his girlfriend. BUT he should do what he says he will and maybe clarify intentions. If you both want to be with eachother or are practically already together, what's the problem? Especially if its important to the other person? Quite frankly, it seems like the other person has a hidden agenda. And if that's the case, end it.
Sorry about the rant.
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